In 2020, many things happened.

For one, I became affianced.

While this certainly does not define me, it is also the highlight of my year and the start of, what I hope to be, a lifetime together.

It turns out there’s a lot of Googling in the days after getting engaged

There are simply so many questions I never thought to ask before.

So, here are some notes I have on getting engaged that could help you should you become engaged and might save you a few hours of furiously Googling things.


The Ring


Ring insurance is a thing. If you’re clumsy like me, and if like me this is the most expensive thing you own, you can insure it. Even better, most contents insurance can cover it if you add it to the policy

When to wear it

So, there I was, newly engaged and smiling away the evening, when it suddenly hit me that I didn’t know when a person should or should not wear a ring. It seemed like logic dictated there must be times it had to come off but nobody could tell me when.

It turns out when to wear it or even if you have one at all is a personal preference. After a few weeks, though, here’s where I settled:

  • I don’t wear it to the gym or when exercising

  • I don’t wear it at the beach or in water

  • I don’t shower with it

  • I take it off when cleaning things

  • Otherwise, I wear it.

  • I sleep with it on, which is great but for the first few days I did occasionally punch myself, and anyone else in the bed, with it.

What comes next

The questions

People will start asking a lot of questions about THE WEDDING almost immediately once you’re engaged. Even if you’re only just engaged, and haven’t had a moment alone. Even if you’re in the middle of a global pandemic. They’re just curious. They’re trying to glimpse a share of that happiness you’re experiencing. In some cases, they’re just trying to live in a daydream of the future rather than talk about the problems of the present.

In the beginning the questions were almost overwhelming. Now that we’ve had time to discuss things they’re easier to answer. They still get asked around 3-4 times a week. I’m expecting this to diminish the longer we’re engaged but who knows.

The Sequel

Neither me or my fiancé knew there was allegedly a second ring to be added to mine on my finger at the wedding. From what I gather this is traditional but, like anything, I think this is a personal choice. I certainly find the idea of another ring attractive. Partly, I think, because of the symbolism of it. There are many things we might not embrace that are traditional to weddings but there are some things I think we might.

The Overwhelming Love

There is nothing quite as magical as declaring that you choose somebody for the rest of your life, in whichever way you want to do it.

From the moment of the proposal I think we have both felt that magic. Something we knew in our hearts has become more real, and tangible. It is now known and not something other people suspect. It’s a fact of the universe, like gravity or Ferrera Roche chocolates. It just is.

Nothing could have prepared me for what was to come after becoming engaged but I’m sure nothing can prepare any one of us for the future. It just is, and we watch it unfold in front of us. Getting engaged has been a joyful bubble in the midst of overwhelming circumstances.

As much as 2020 sucked, it was also spectacular and, overwhelmingly, full of love.


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