Okay so, this is not technically true.
You see I’ve already moved to the Caribbean.
But sometimes your adobe files and life don’t line up and that’s just the way things go.
As with everything in this life, this story begins with heartbreak.
A few bad decisions and couple of poorly timed jobs and I was stood alone, jet lagged, and single for the first time in over half a decade.
Half a decade is a long time so, naturally, I was suffering from a little bit of emotional whiplash.
Let’s not mince words: I was dumped.
All things fall apart in life. I get that. But there’s a time and tide to these things that I had judged was still an ocean away. That’s what I tell myself when I look back and think about how much I fell apart. I was like a dying star spewing its guts into the galaxy. I was like a dead end road simmering on a particularly hot afternoon.
I often find it really hard to share personal things on this blog. Something about how white and beautiful I’ve made it intimidates me! The pictures that once cocooned my heart suffocate me. But here I am sharing something very personal — five years gone in an instant.
I’m not going to lie to you, for a while I was at a total loss for what to do. Being single is both incredibly liberating and terrifying all at the same time — I kept wondering what would happen if I died in the bathroom because who would have any reason to come find me? At the same time as this I would leave for incredible mini breaks at the weekend with nobody else to coordinate or look after but myself. I both loved and hated it in varying amounts. Sometimes freedom is it’s own kind of suffering
Recently I’ve grown to love it more than I hate it.
And recently, emboldened by a newly found freedom, I moved to the Caribbean.
Not on a total whim (although potentially on somewhat of a whim… like on the scale of total whim to seriously planned out forever stuff this is maybe in the Mia, you didn’t even think about how you’d have money initially category) but still it’s a big move.
And here I am. In paradise. 🌴
It rains more often than you’d maybe think on my particular slice of the Caribbean. And, like everyone in this world, I have to work to earn my keep. But I’m learning a lot about how it’s not money but life experiences that have true value. And budgeting. I’m learning a lot about that too.
You’ll perhaps be unsurprised to learn I’m writing again too! I couldn’t be happier about that. I feel like I’ve finally taken control of my life! And that’s glorious.
Anyway, that’s my update for now. No doubt I’ll tell you more about my travels as I go along because idk I really want this blog to be ME AGAIN and not just a series of pretty pictures and words.