Time to overestimate myself 2017

I love new year

now is the time for vastly overestimating ourselves!

now is the time for dreaming big with reckless abandon.

There aren’t a lot of times in life that you’re allowed to promise yourself much more than you know you can deliver

i like to think we get to see the inner workings of someone’s soul when they make promises to themselves

and

for a brief glimpse in time there’s an honesty shared

a light that can never fail

the true legacy of humanity:

hope

Even the absence of goals is a window to something

beautiful

broken

but real

So! With reckless abandon in mind, here are my goals this year:

• to read more

and to do so without fear. there is always time. there will always be time. maybe this is a weird fear but I got it into my head a long time ago that over thinking, the very thing I do all the time, maybe wears your neurons out… it’s not that I still think that but that a habit of a lifetime means sometimes I limit my thinking and reading for fear of using it all up…

• to meditate

I’m trying to cut down on is stress. it’s easy to look at a person and think you have fancy hair and a nice smile and use lots of words, how can you be stressed? the great thing about people is that there’s always more to them than meets the eye. always a hidden story or two they keep to themselves. maybe I’m like that too.

• to make friends

online especially! i’ve fallen out of touch with my local writing circle, mostly because I moved away and like it or not you can’t drag people hundreds of miles with you wherever you go. so I want to make more friends. I want to spend my spare time reading their work and being in awe of their talent. I want to hear bout their triumphs and their hardships, but mostly all about THEM.

• to make peace with myself

it’s easy to think of life as a war we’re waging against the only person who can ever really whisper “you’re not good enough” and we’ll listen if only for a moment. I want to spend this year on a diplomatic mission to me. embracing my demons is the only way I’ll ever conquer them. I’m going to sent me love letters, invite me for tea, and start talking.

• to write

i’ve had this book on my mind about a girl called Atlas who tears everything she knows apart trying to find her sister a million light years away, and in turn understand an alien signal sent long before they were born to their parents.  this year I plan to write that book. I plan to let the words flow and take me where the story is, but this time within the confines of a little (light) planning. I don’t know why so many of my stories involve siblings pulled apart, searching for each other, but that’s a conundrum to consider another day.

• to be brave

often I let fear silence me. often the silence becomes my prison. this year I want to remedy that. I want to be honest. I want not to fear what’s inside of me, or the things that have happened to me, all of them combining together into something beautifully chaotic that I call ‘me’. I’ll need help with this one but perhaps it’s worth the risk.

What are your resolutions?