I came into this New Year with a lot of baggage I want to get rid of when it comes to writing.
One of the things I’m focusing on this month, as a result, is evicting my inner writing demons! I’m really into writing notes to myself. My life is littered with information I write for my future self to find. So my method for getting rid of inner writing demons for a month, maybe even a year, is a little different in 2018. It’s borrowed, in no small part, from some therapizing I picked up last year.
Knowing your inner writing demons is the most important part of the process. If you’re already keen to evict them, chances are you already know them. But, because I like lists and the kind of organisational skills that ultimately lead nowhere, I made a list at this point. Lists are super duper personal to most of us but at this point what do I not share with the internet? So here are my top three demons at the very least haunting me this month:
- imposter syndrome (chronic)
- serial procrastinator (fear of failure)
- obsessive editing (another fear of failure)
For me, this step involves a lot of lying down next to the pool in my complex, laptop precariously balanced on my stomach, considering things but you can really do this anywhere if I’m honest. Something about the outdoors makes me reflective so, for me, being outside is key. I think wherever you are it’s important to be comfortable at this point.
I like to reflect upon my inner writing demons before I cast them out entirely. Sometimes keeping some small part of them can be useful in making sure I’m grounded. Sure, my tendency to procrastinate away my fears is a bad and major issue I should tackle but sometimes my imposter syndrome keeps me humble. Sometimes my obsessive editing leads me to actually face problems with plot and etcetera before I tangle myself up into a knot and the untying of it takes forever.
This year, I know I want to face my serial procrastination tendencies head on. Alongside an organizer (impulse purchase that I’m sure I’ll abandon circa March time because I love the IDEA of planners so so much more than the execution), I plan to do this by making sure everything I choose to do has a purpose. Exhausting, but rewarding, because for me procrastinating isn’t just watching videos online — it’s huge projects that soak up all time around them. It’s making dragon eggs, and baking new cakes. It’s learning how to skateboard and practicing Chinese. I do a lot to keep my mind off of failing at writing (and ultimately writing) and I need to slow it all down.
I figure rather than evict procrastination in general, I should skip to the route cause and say goodbye to my fear this year. I’m doing that by writing my own inner writing demon an eviction notice from myself. I think I’ll pin it on my wall. Then, whenever I’m feeling particularly weak, I can look at it and acknowledge it’s time to let go!