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Aesir Legal; Lady Justice & chocolate box ribbons & Animorphs.

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I get up in the morning, torture a typewriter until it screams, then stop.” Clarence Budington Kelland
 


Aesir Legal; Lady Justice & chocolate box ribbons & Animorphs.





As has become synonymous with Fridays! Today is the day of a tale of zombies and Amalia Dillin and me and Thor and glitter.  This has been going on for so long do not worry if you are behind! Jump right in! Amalia has written a little thing here this week and mine begins where we left off in an office being questioned. So! A certain Baldur, from the Asgardian Embassy, is quizzing me and a zombie friend about our run in with a female vampire by the name of Adler. So much drama!


Other important details include that I secretly think Tyler, le zombie friend, is dying again, there was a fight in a department store hosiery section, a while back I knocked Amalia out with a spoon (no relevance it just tickles me), a further while back I was electrocuted, I have holes in my shoes, and currently in our tale I still haven’t had a shower for days. It is a wonder I am not raging about the place. So! Off we go!

“Allow me to set this straight,” Baldur’s voice booms around his office as he leans forward and I shrink back into a seat I find beside the bookcase. It’s not all that easy to forget how big on justice this God is. I have landed next to his mini Lady Justice statue. I almost kick her in the face twice as I re-cross and uncross my legs. The second time I swear she treats me to a golden scowl.
 
Once I’ve settled, and Baldur glances at me over a pair of glasses he seems to have located and decided to use as a prop, he continues, “You, Admiral Hayson along with your vice president Mr Tyler, told a black market information dealer about Amalia Dillin? One of the few mortals closely enough connected to Thor to inadvertently provoke Sif?”
 
Baldur pinches the bridge of his nose as I shrug. Tyler being vice president has never been a thing we’ve verbally acknowledged. I know we should; it’s just so difficult to get a  unanimous vote going in a room or groans and gurgles and undead.
 
“So,” I say clearing my throat.” I think what you should really focus on is the fighting part of this tale. Also, the fact only a few pairs of stockings were ruined.The borders might close and I’m sure that would be awful but we broke a treaty here, dude!”
 
Baldur doesn’t seem quite half as impressed as I want him to be but I struggle on.
 
“We traded peace for Amalia’s safety!  And, frankly, after Adler “accidentally” stabbed me with a coat hanger you’re lucky the department store where said treaty was broken… well, you’re lucky it still exists,” I say with a short laugh. “I mean, if you like that kind of thing… which I wouldn’t know… and is fine! You know sometimes pilots wear tights to help circulation and keep warm. That is a thing. There is no shame in wearing stockings. No,sir. Wear what you want! That’s what I always say. Who cares? Sometimes I tie chocolate box ribbons around my wrists for bracelets. There is no shame in creativity…”


Baldur’s gaze bores into me after I trail off; I soon realise that I’d rather be bored into with a drill or a hammer or a rusty spork or a blunt trowel. Anything but his eyes.
 
 “Okay,okay, maybe Tyler said a little something.” I raise my palms. “Not a lot though. Nothing important.”
 
“…”
 
“Amalia’s indoor spider issues,” I admit.”Tyler may have maybe mentioned that in-between dodging the undergarment thing grenades and throwing a few sock incendiaries. It was right before the stocking smoke screen hit and we had to dodge security.”
 
“Is this true?” Baldur glances to Tyler.He leans forward, placing his chin in a hand, and they share a look. It is as if both of them consider it quite possible I made the entire thing up.
 
“To an extent,” Tyler says at length.”It was actually just a regular smoke screen, however. They don’t make them out of stockings.”
“Mhm,” Baldur says, taking off his glasses and tapping the desk. “Well I cannot deny that your actions,however over the top, may have saved the border for now. I’m presuming no money changed hands?” Baldur nods into the silence. I’m sure he’d know if it had.”That said, Mr Tyler, given the circumstances and the sheer chaos your choices have brought upon the embassy this is no light matter.”
 
Tyler nods. Baldur nods. Tyler nods again. Baldur ups the stakes with his nod as he raises a brow. Tyler widens his eyes with his similar response, clearly not wanting to be outdone. I slip off my seat to march forward to end this weird nodding bromance; my hands are clammy as I place them upon the desk.
 
“Now wait here just a tick,” I say trying to ignore the way Baldur’s full attention makes me want to curl in a ball and not exist anymore. Justice, it seems, is a heavy thing to stare into people.”That is so totally pants. Tyler saved Amalia’s life in a Zombie Pageant once, I know he would never do anything to hurt her. And even if maybe he accidentally did he would totally right all the wrongs afterwards because that is the kind of zombie that he-“
 
“Undoubtedly.” Baldur isn’t loud, but his voice is firm and unyielding. “And this will be taken into account accordingly. However…”
 
“But he’s dying,” I blurt out, wincing as the words tumble out. I try to kick myself, but my feet get muddled and I end up kicking the desk, and then Tyler as I swing backwards. Brilliant. Go me,kicking a dying zombie in the shin.
 
Baldur raises a brow, but it is Tyler who speaks from behind me with a quiet confidence, “No I’m not.”
 
When I glance at him his face is blank. Not set in a Please do not eat that you and I both know the zombies have not washed their hands today face, or a See this is another example of you confusing fiction with reality frown. His face is blank, and open, like the first virgin page of a new notebook.
 
“I’m not sure how… or why… or even when you decided this… nice secret keeping by the way that must be a record,”Tyler says and I smile a little. It is a record. I’ve never held onto a secret for this long. I didn’t even tell the local barista this time over my morning tea, nor the postman, nor a stranger on the bus. “But it doesn’t matter,what matters is you need to know… I shouldn’t have presumed you did already but you were doing so well and you said you were fine. I guess you went in for that memory wipe after all? Hey, it’s your business. That’s fine. What matters is you know that I am fine, more than fine in fact.”
 
Tyler heaves a sigh, it is so heavy that glitter flutters out sprinkling itself against my jeans.
 
“Mia, you’re the one who… ” Tyler’s eyes are even heavier than his sigh. “Some time ago there was an incident in the Paranormal Quarter, it was touch and go, and I was… bitten.”
 
“I’m fine now,” Tyler adds to my widening eyes.”I’m fine. But when I was… not fine… you performed the Rite of Anima.”
 
Baldur sucks in a breath as Tyler speaks but I remain stoic. I’m not even sure what that is; it sounds suspiciously like Animorphs to me. And I thought we had promised never to mention how into Animorphs I am in public. That is a secret enthusiasm I have; like penguins, and lining up stationary, and Tinkerbell.
 
It is Baldur, and not Tyler, who decides to clarify for me as he says, “You gave your, ah, your vice president, part of your lifeforce, Admiral Hayson.”
 
 
 
Once again we end on an exciting/dramatic note! I’m not sure I’m allowed to be excited about this? I admit that I do not know the rules of lifeforce giving excitement. Hehe. Anyway! There you have it! Mmm! The take home message here is probably let’s keep my secret enthusiasms quiet, yea? I actually have a tendency to line things up, that is a thing, sooo. Also! Animorphs was amazing! I used to read the books too! That’s how nerdy I am! Any books you have secret enthusiasm for? I loved Goosebumps as a younger person too… and… ahem… maybe those horse books with the teen girls who had horses. Maybe those too. Yeahhh.

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